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LICENSE TO PARENT
MAIN POINT
A license is required to own a dog; a test must be passed to drive
a car. But there are no requirements to become a parent. Most people could stand a dose of
reality before they venture anywhere near parenthood. Raising children is both a great
earthly privilege and a deep responsibility. If a test had to be passed before we could
become parents, perhaps we would grasp just a bit of that reality.
CHARACTERIZATION
Andy and Kathy are excited first-time
parents. They are thrilled about the prospect of taking their son home, but understandably
naive. They're willing participants in the test, but become increasingly more perplexed
and frustrated as it unfolds. Their patience has its limits.
Agent Petibone is pure, straight-laced administrator. All business, he
has no social skills or awareness of how he comes across. He's doing his job strictly by
the book, crossing every "t" and dotting every "i."
Nurse Livingston is mostly in the background, bringing in the objects for
the test. Her personality does not come through in this script.
DIRECTOR'S NOTES
1) This script is designed to be very
"over-the-top," using exaggeration and physical humor. The extremes Andy and
Kathy portray in their physical assignments underline the unexpected challenges of
handling a small child. Their level of bumbling and lack of coordination should gradually
increase until the final moments become almost slapstick.
2) Agent Petibone's presence, tone and focus should also be exaggerated.
Play him very stiff and formal, without a sense of social awareness, but more 9th-grade
English teacher than evil bureaucrat. Thick black glasses might be appropriate for him.
His power is in his position, not his demeanor or physical appearance. He should speak
most of his lines to his clipboard, scrawling notes constantly.
3) Be careful not to point the air siren directly toward anyone's ear.
Point it toward the back of the room to guard against any injury. Test this carefully in
advance.
4) For the "chinchilla," place a small, furry stuffed animal in
the box, and have Andy wrap it partially in the pillow case, then lift it out momentarily
with its head protruding from the case to create the illusion that Andy is indeed
wrestling with a live animal.
5) If necessary, the nurse can be eliminated from the sketch. In that
case, Agent Petibone can bring the props in with him on a wheeled cart. And instead of the
nurse asking if they "passed," Kathy can ask, "Well, did we pass?"
RELATED SCRIPTURES
For dealing with the gift of children, see Psalm 127:3-5 and Genesis
30:19-24. For the responsibility of parenting, especially spiritual direction, look at
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 and Proverbs 22:6. Examples of children being dedicated or presented to
the Lord can be found in 1 Samuel 1:1-28 and Luke 2:21-24.
RELATED THEMES
This is a perfect script for use in a baby dedication or infant baptism service.
Consider using it in a family or marriage retreat setting, or at a parenting seminar. It
can also be used for themes such as responsibility, maturity, servanthood vs. selfishness
and patience.
