60020 ERNIE'S PLACE

by Randy Coy and Stan Purdum

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Synopsis:
In this farce, Ed and Martha go to ludicrous lengths to avoid being the one to make the choice about what to have for dinner.

Time:
4-5 minutes

Characters:
Ed - a husband, any age 50 or older.
Martha - Ed's wife, of similar age.
Server - could be male or female.

Props:
1) At least two chairs for the living room
2) Restaurant table with two chairs
3) Menus
4) Sign reading "Ernie's Place"

Sound:
Wireless mikes for all three actors, if possible

Lighting:
General stage

Living room of Ed and Martha's home. Martha is seated, reading a woman's magazine as Ed arrives home.

Martha:
Oh, hi, dear. Did you have a good day?

Ed:
A busy one. And now I'm starved. What's for dinner?

Martha:
Well, I thought we'd eat out tonight. I've had a busy day, too.

Ed:
Sounds good to me. Where'll we go?

Martha:
I haven't chosen anyplace. Where would you like to go?

Ed:
I'm hungry, but not for anything specific. What are you hungry for?

Martha:
I guess I could eat about anything. It's up to you, dear.

Ed:
No, hon, you decide. Whatever you choose is fine with me.

Martha:
Well, there is that new Chinese place.

Ed:
Oh ... I don't know if I really want Chinese tonight.

Martha:
Okay. What do you want?

Ed:
Whatever you want, sweetheart.

Martha:
I suppose we could go to Ernie's.

Ed:
We could. Of course, we always go to Ernie's.

Martha:
It really doesn't matter to me where we eat. Pick something.

Ed:
We haven't had Mexican for a while.

Martha:
That might be a little too spicy. You know how my stomach's been lately.

Ed:
Well, you decide then. Anything's fine.

Martha:
What are you hungry for?

Ed:
Whatever you're hungry for, dear.

Martha:
Oh, let's just go to Ernie's.

Ed:
But we always go to Ernie's.

Server:
Are you ready to order?

Ed:
Yes. Go ahead, Martha.

Martha:
I'll have whatever you're having, dear.

Ed:
Okay. (turning to server) What's good tonight?

Server:
Everything's good. What would you like?

Ed:
What do you recommend?

Server:
I like the chicken.

Ed:
I've had a lot of chicken lately.

Server:
We sell a lot of the pot roast.

Ed:
Hmmm. Oh, I don't know. Have you decided yet, Martha?

Martha:
I'll have whatever you're having, dear.

Ed:
Well, she says the pot roast is good.

Martha:
I don't think I want that much.

Ed:
Well, what do you want then?

Martha:
Whatever you're having.

Ed:
You choose, and I'll have whatever you're having.

Martha:
All right. What are you hungry for?

Ed:
Whatever you're hungry for, dear.

Server:
Would you like me to give you a little more time?

Martha:
Uh ... no. We're really getting hungry. We better order now.

Ed:
Right.

Server:
I could bring you the special.

Martha:
What do you think, dear?

Ed:
Whatever you want, sweetie.

Martha:
(to server) What do you recommend?

Blackout. When lights come up again, Ed and Martha are back home, seated in their living room.

Ed:
Well, that was a dinner, wasn't it? ... $5.95 - that's not bad.

Martha:
Yes, it's nice to get the early bird.

Ed:
Did you like the special?

Martha:
Did you?

Ed:
Coulda been better, I guess.

Martha:
Yeah, a little dry maybe.

Ed:
That's what I was thinking. It was dry.

Martha:
And it took so long I was starved by the time our food finally got there.

Ed:
Yeah, me too. But whatever made her think we'd like the meatloaf? You'd think, as often as we eat at Ernie's, that they'd know we don't like meatloaf.

Martha:
That's right. Next time we go there, we should insist on another server. They act like they want to help you, but they really don't. Meatloaf!

Ed:
I agree. She really was a dumb waitress! ... Well, hon, it's too late to do much else. You wanna watch some TV?

Martha:
If you'd like to, dear.

Ed:
Well, what do you prefer?

Martha:
Whatever you want, dear.

Performance and photocopying rights:
Your purchase of this script grants your church unlimited use of these sketches within your programs and worship services. You may photocopy the script for each cast member in your church. Scripts and performance rights are not transferable between churches and cannot be resold. You may not use the sketches for any commercial or fundraising purpose, and usage rights do not extend to video, radio, television or film.

Copyright © 1999 Communication Resources, Inc.

                                           RESOURCES FOR SCRIPT 60020
                                                   ERNIE'S PLACE


MAIN POINT
In a culture that presents us with a wide range of choices in just about any activity, we sometimes discover just how hard decision making can be. Often, we'd rather defer decisions to others than risk choosing something that might offend them. Ironically, they may be doing the same with us, locking us both into immobility. In minor matters, such as deciding what to have for dinner, this mutual indecision may be no more than inconvenient. But in the larger arena of the Christian life, we often have to make hard choices, even when what we decide will not please everyone.

CHARACTERIZATION
Ed is a typical middle-class husband, arriving home after a normal day at the office. He can be any age 50 or over. He is rather bland, and not a very decisive person.

Martha is Ed's wife, of a similar age as he. She also is bland, and no more decisive than her husband.

Server: Could be male or female of any age.

DIRECTOR'S NOTES
1) Since this short sketch has three scenes, you may want to run them as separate mini-segments, separated by other items in the order of worship, but all before the sermon. If you decide to run them together, at least have the house lights dimmed momentarily as Ed and Martha move from their "living room" to "Ernie's Place" and back again.

2) Don't allow the audience to see the "Ernie's Place" sign until the beginning of the second scene. A convenient way to display the sign is to place it on an easel upstage of the table.

3) Neither Ed nor Martha should ever show too much emotion. Both are somewhat bland characters. Even in the third scene, when they are expressing their dissatisfaction with their meals, they should not be very annoyed. Neither has a forceful enough personality to express displeasure very strongly.

RELATED SCRIPTURES
Galatians 2:11-14, where Paul confronts Peter about the latter's withdrawal from eating with Gentiles, shows Paul making a decision to confront a fellow worker. The parable in Matthew 20:1-15 portrays a landowner who decides to pay all his laborers the same, regardless of how many hours they had worked, even though this decision displeases some of the workers.

RELATED THEMES
This sketch could also be used to introduce the idea that God went first. Jesus is a go-ahead Savior who moved boldly for our salvation while we were still in sin. You might also use the sketch for the topics of communication in marriage, speaking one's mind, or living with the results of our decisions.

                                           MUSIC LINKS FOR SCRIPT 60020
                                               ERNIE'S PLACE

Performance Song Ideas

"You've Got to Stand for Something (or You'll Fall For Anything)"
(taking a stand) As performed by Aaron Tippen, from the album, You've Got to Stand for Something on RCA/BMG Records.
Musical Style: upbeat; country

"Lay It All on the Line"
(commitment) As performed by 4 Him, from the album, The Message on Benson Records.
Musical Style: upbeat; pop

"Children of the Burning Hearts"
(commitment) As performed by Steven Curtis Chapman, from the album, Signs Of Life on Sparrow Records.
Musical Style: hot; pop

"Any Road, Any Cost"
(commitment) As performed by Point of Grace, from the album, Life, Love and Other Mysteries on Word/Epic Records.
Musical Style: ballad; inspirational; adult contemporary

Chorus Ideas

"As We Seek Your Face"
(commitment) D. Bilbrough from the songbook, Praise Chorus Book: 4th edition-"Green Book" - Maranatha!
Musical Style: mellow; reflective

"Jesus, Draw Me Close" *
(commitment) R. Founds.
Musical Style: mellow

"Be Bold, Be Strong" *; Ý
(commitment) M. Chapman.
Musical Style: upbeat

Hymn Ideas

"I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" ý
(commitment) author unknown.
Musical Style: mellow; reflective

"May the Mind of Christ, My Savior" ý
(commitment) Wilkinson; Barham-Gould.
Musical Style: medium

"My Jesus, I Love Thee" ý
(commitment) W. R. Featherston; A. J. Gordon.
Musical Style: medium

Chorus and Hymn Resources (unless otherwise designated)
* from the songbook, Praise Chorus Book - Maranatha!
Ý from the songbook, Come and Worship - Integrity
ý from The Hymnal for Worship and Celebration - Word