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60902 AT LEAST YOU HAVE YOUR HEALTH
by Belinda and Chip Burkitt
Purpose:
To open a talk about our purpose in life
Theme:
Purpose; Death; Terminal Illness
Scripture:
Mark 10:17-23
Church
Year
Time:
7 minutes
Characters:
Alan-Age 40;
middle-class; has a terminal illness
Sheila-Age 40; his wife
Madge-Age 40; their gossipy
neighbor
Joe-Age 40; Madge’s husband
Props:
1) Telephone
2)
CD Player
3)
Checkbook
Costumes:
All characters wear contemporary clothing, appropriate to
character. Madge’s costume should draw attention.
Sound:
Four wireless mikes; sound effect of doorbell, of Frank Sinatra
singing “My Way,” and of a telephone ringing
Lighting:
General stage
Setting:
Alan and Sheila’s house
Director’s
Madge
Alan!
You’re alive!
Joe
It’s a
miracle!
Alan
I’m not
dead yet.
Joe
Madge …
Madge
Ooops! Mrs.
Reynolds told Marcie Davis you were dead.
Joe
You don’t
look dead.
Alan
Who’s Mrs;
Reynolds?
Madge
Gretchen
Sorensen’s neighbor.
Sheila
Who’s
that?
Madge
She cleans
Esther Smith’s house.
Alan
Who’s
Esther Smith?
Madge
She works at
your clinic.
Alan
Oh, great!
The whole town thinks I’m already dead.
Joe
She’s
already got three weeks of meals lined up for Sheila.
Sheila
Thank you!
Madge
You’re
welcome.
Joe
That’s
what you get for listening to gossip.
Madge
But … but
…
Joe
He’s not
dead, so let’s go home.
Madge
Aren’t you
even a little sick?
Alan
As a matter
of fact, I’ve got some kind of -oma. (Pause)
You know, lymphoma, carcinoma …
Joe
Oklahoma!
Sheila and Madge
Joe!
Alan
What’s the
difference? Three months is all I’ve got.
Madge
You mean,
you’re not dead but you’re … dying? (ALAN
nods.) Could I use your phone?
Joe and Sheila
No!
Alan
Oh, go
ahead. Let her use it. Nothing matters … now.
Sheila
Don’t say
that!
Joe
Sheila’s
right, Alan. You’ve got plenty to look forward to.
Madge
Yeah! Like
planning your funeral.
Joe
And making
out your will!
Alan
That’s
just great.
Madge
This can be
a healthy way to channel the grief we’re all experiencing.
Sheila
I’ll get
some paper, so we can write things down.
Joe
You want to
watch?
Alan
Why?
Joe
What-you
gonna take it with you?
Alan
I just
might!
Madge
Now, Alan,
how do you want to be remembered?
Alan
I don’t
know. I’ve never thought about it.
Joe
Who does?
Madge
Well, like
… for generosity?
Sheila
Nah.
Joe
Or your
community service?
Sheila
I don’t
think so.
Madge
Your
devotion to your family.
Sheila
Uh-uh.
Alan
I don’t
think I like this.
Madge
We can come
back later. How about practical things? What do you want at your funeral?
Sheila
This is your
special day!
Alan
Oh, thanks.
Sheila
How about a
theme funeral? Basketball …
Madge
Or bowling?
Joe
Smurfs! (Everybody
looks at JOE) I like Smurfs.
Madge
Okay.
We’ll need invitations.
Sheila
I believe
they’re called announcements in this case.
Madge
Oh, right.
Alan
Why don’t
you just put up a big billboard with my picture that reads, “So long.
It’s been real.”
Sheila and Madge
Hey! Great
idea!
Madge
Flowers-silk
or real?
Sheila
Real.
Joe
Food!
Madge
Of course.
Sheila
Catered or
potluck?
Joe
Aren’t
potlucks illegal?
Alan
I can’t
believe this!
Madge
Music …
Joe
My Uncle
Harry had bagpipes at his funeral.
Alan
I’m not
Scottish, and I hate bagpipes.
Madge
It should
really be something that expresses who Alan is.
Sheila
I know!
He’s been a fan of Frank Sinatra since we were in high school. I’ll
put it on.
She crosses to a CD player and turns on a CD of
Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” After we realize what the song is, ALAN
turns it off.
Alan
Stop! I
can’t take it anymore! I have done it my way, and I’m ashamed of it.
I’ve wasted my life. My life has been one big game of Trivial Pursuit.
Madge
Don’t be
so hard on yourself.
Joe
Yeah.
You’re making me feel bad.
Alan
All my life,
earning, gathering, collecting stuff. Work, work, work. Money, money,
money. For what?
Sheila
For your
retirement.
Alan
I have no
retirement! Struck down in the prime of life!
Sheila
Well, maybe
a little past your prime. (Pause)
Madge
Well, of
course you saved. There’s nothing wrong with having a plan.
Alan
That’s
what I thought. A summer house up north. A winter house in Florida. And an
RV to go between. But now I’ll never enjoy it.
Sheila
I’m not
driving an RV.
Alan
I have so
much, and it’s all gone.
Joe
No, it’s
not. Sheila gets it.
Alan
I just
wanted to be comfortable. What’s wrong with that?
Madge
Nothing!
Alan
Nothing-that’s
just it! I’ve done nothing with my life!
Joe
Hey!
You’ve done things.
Alan
Yeah? Like
what?
Joe
Like … you
know … things …
Alan
I wanted to
be a missionary.
There is stunned silence.
Sheila
What?
Alan
In third
grade Sunday school. I wanted to go to other countries where the men where
makeup and the women wear loincloths. I wanted to spread the good news
about Jesus and the American way.
Sheila
You never
told me this.
Alan
I forgot
until just now. But now it’s too late.
Madge
It’s not
too late.
Alan
It’s not?
Madge
You’ve
still got three months.
Joe
Hey!
That’s right.
Alan
Yeah! This
could be the best three months of my life!
Madge
That’s the
spirit!
Joe
You can be a
missionary. (Pause) Okay, maybe
not, but you can meet your neighbors.
Alan
I can give
everything I’ve saved to those poor, ragged children with bad hair and
big, hungry eyes.
Madge
How
beautiful.
Alan
Where’s my
checkbook?
Sheila
Wait!
Aren’t you forgetting someone?
Alan
Who?
Sheila
Me! In three
months, I’ll be an impoverished widow. I still have my
retirement to look forward to.
Madge
Sheila, Alan
is having an important revelation. Don’t ruin it for him.
Joe
Besides,
you’ll still have his life insurance.
Sheila
Well, okay.
Alan
(He finishes writing a check, then:) I feel so good. I’m a changed man.
The phone rings. They stare at it, then ALAN picks
it up slowly and answers. He listens for a few seconds, then hangs up.
Alan
They made a
mistake. I don’t have it. I’m okay. My cholesterol is a little high,
but I’m just fine.
Sheila, Joe, and Madge
Hooray!
Hallelujah! It’s a miracle!
Madge
You’ve got
your whole life ahead of you.
Joe
You can
become a missionary.
Sheila
What’s
wrong?
Alan
I just gave
away everything I have. Will someone please say something to make me feel
better? (Pause)
Joe
At least you
have your health.
Lights Out.
.GIF)
Performance
and photocopying rights:
Your purchase of this script grants your church unlimited use of these
sketches within your programs and worship services. You may photocopy the
script for each cast member in your church. Scripts and performance rights
are not transferable between churches and cannot be resold. You may not
use the sketches for any commercial or fundraising purpose, and usage
rights do not extend to video, radio, television or film.
Copyright © 2001 Belinda and Chip Burkitt
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