60989 SPECIAL DELIVERY

By Paul Maley

GENRE: Comedy
TIME: 5 minutes
CAST BREAKDOWN: 1F,1M
THEME: Love; Salvation; Christ; Unconditional Love
SCRIPTURE: John 3:1-21; Romans 3:21-26; 5:1-11; Ephesians 2:1-10
CHURCH YEAR SEASON: Pentecost; Lent
SUGGESTED USE: Worship service; youth group meeting; Bible study
PURPOSE: To open a discussion on God's unconditional love for us and his free gift of salvation in Christ
SYNOPSIS:
Millie is in her backyard, engrossed in a book. Then Steve shows up. Poor Steve is just a well-meaning delivery man, trying to give Millie a package. But Millie didn't order any package and won't accept delivery. Steve tries to convince her the package is a gift, but she'll have none of it. This comedy is a good reminder of the free gift of salvation we have through Christ.
CHARACTERS:
Steve ~ A deliveryman
Millie ~ A skeptical woman
PROPS:
1) Lawn chair
2) Paperback book for Millie
3) Plain package with a shipping label on it
4) Business card identifying Steve's company
COSTUMES: Contemporary clothing, appropriate to character; if possible, Steve should wear a shirt that identifies him as a delivery person for a courier service
SOUND: Two wireless mikes
LIGHTING: General stage
SETTING: Millie'sbackyard
DIRECTOR'S NOTES:
The message in this script is pretty obvious, so work with the actors to make it subtle. For the characters, this is just a package. Let the pastor make the point that it represents the free gift of salvation. Steve is just a delivery guy trying to do his job. Millie is a skeptic who has, perhaps, watched a little too much Court TV. Maybe the book she's reading is a thriller or a murder mystery and is fueling her natural skepticism. Have fun with the script. If you play it lightly, the audience will get the point without feeling brow-beaten.

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Scene opens with MILLIE, sitting on a lawnchair in her backyard, enjoying the sunlight. She is engrossed in a paperback. After a few seconds, STEVE peers around the corner uncertainly, then ENTERS carrying a small package.

STEVE

Excuse me?

MILLIE

(Startled, she screams and falls off her chair.) Aaaah! What do you want? (She grabs the chair and holds it like a lion tamer.)

STEVE

Nothing, I-

MILLIE

Stay back! Nobody just wanders into a woman's backyard unannounced, unless he's up to something.

STEVE

I'm not "up to something"-

MILLIE

I've got a black belt in karate and if you lay one finger on me, I'll tie you up in knots faster than you can say Jackie Chan! Who are you?

STEVE

Well, I'm Steve from, uh … here. (He holds out a business card.)

MILLIE

(She backs off, dropping the chair toward him and assuming a karate defense position.) Don't come any closer!

STEVE

Oh, for crying out loud. (Sets the chair upright, placing the card on it, and backs away) There. You do read, don't you?

MILLIE

(Showing him her paperback) Yes, I read. (Grabs the card) Hustler Messenger Service? Any relation to the magazine?

STEVE

No. I take packages, not pictures. (Holds out the package)

MILLIE

What's that?

STEVE

A delivery. A gift, apparently.

MILLIE

A gift? Who's it from?

STEVE

I don't know. Open it and find out. (He holds it out further.)

MILLIE

No, I think you must have the wrong house.

STEVE

(Looking at the address label) This is 210 Lemon Street, right?

MILLIE

Yeah.

STEVE

Millie Smith?

MILLIE

That's me. (STEVE holds out the package again.) But I didn't order anything. There must be some mistake.

STEVE

No, you didn't order it. It's a gift. (He starts toward her; again, she backs off) Here. (Tosses it to her)

MILLIE

(Looking at it) No, this can't be right. My birthday was two months ago. (Tosses it back and starts to EXIT) Goodbye.

STEVE

(Heading her off at the pass) Well, apparently somebody is sending you a gift, early, late or otherwise. Here, maybe it'll makes sense once you open it.

MILLIE

(Still skeptical) I don't know.

STEVE

Lady, it's a gift. Will you just take it?! (Throws it at her)

MILLIE

All right, all right! What do I owe you?

STEVE

No charge.

MILLIE

(Really skeptical) No charge?

STEVE

Read my lips: (Exaggerating) Nnnnnnooooooo chaaaarrrrrrrge.

MILLIE

This isn't a (imitating him) Ceeee Ohhhhh Deeeeeee?

STEVE

It's a gift. Someone is giving you a present. It's free. That's the way gifts work, okay? Goodbye, enjoy it, have a nice day. (Starts to EXIT)

MILLIE

Hold it! Don't I have to sign for this?

STEVE

No, all you have to do is accept it. Goodbye!

MILLIE

Wait a minute! This is crazy! What if there's a bomb in here?

STEVE

That is your problem. I have to "hustle" off now.

MILLIE

Oh, no, you don't! (She grabs him by the arm and twists it around behind his back.)

STEVE

Ow! Hey, lady! You're gonna break my arm!

MILLIE

(Sitting him down in the lawn chair) You're not going anywhere till we figure this out. (She drops the box in his lap and paces around him, thinking.) Okay, what are the facts?.

STEVE

Look, Sherlock, it is a gift. That's all. Just a simple gift. All you have to do is take it. What's your problem?

MILLIE

My "problem" is, I was just sitting in my backyard minding my own business and along you come, telling me to accept some "gift" I'm not expecting, I didn't order, two months after my birthday, three months before Christmas-

STEVE

Maybe somebody loves you.

MILLIE

(Thinks a moment, then) No, that couldn't be it.

STEVE

I'm not gonna touch that one.

MILLIE

What?

STEVE

Maybe … you have a secret admirer?

MILLIE

Nobody admires me without my permission! No. Nope, I'm sorry. I can't accept this. You'll have to go. (Starts to EXIT)

STEVE

(Getting up and following her) Lady, please.

MILLIE

"Please" yourself. I'm very busy. Goodbye.

STEVE

Fine. I'll just leave it here. (Puts it on the chair and starts to EXIT)

MILLIE

No! You can't do that!

STEVE

Why not?

MILLIE

Look, why don't you take it? Open it, enjoy it, whatever it is. You can have it. A gift from me!

STEVE

I'm just a messenger. This is your gift. What you do with it is up to you, but it's yours. Somebody sent it to you. It has your name on it. (MILLIE stares at the package.) Have a nice day! (He EXITS.)

MILLIE looks at the package, then looks after STEVE, then back at the package. Thinking, she EXITS.

Lights out.

Copyright © 2001 by Paul Maley