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SWEAT
SOCKS OR SWEET SUBMISSION (61077)
by Alice Bass
GENRE: Comedy
TIME: Six minutes
CAST BREAKDOWN: 2F
THEME: Family; Submission
CHURCH YEAR SEASON: Any
SUGGESTED USE: Worship Service; Women’s Ministry
SYNOPSIS: Submission is a word that freaks many out. But what is it really? It is finding ourselves at a four way stop, all arriving at the same time, and one of us yields the right of way. Jesus yielded his rights so that everyone could win, not so that He could win. In a family, there also needs to be submission; a yielding of rights so that everyone in the family can win. Children yield their desires to the leadership of their parents, husbands yield authority to love their wives and wives yield control to respect their husbands. But as this script reminds us, sometimes we forget when it comes to the little things that irritate us.
CHARACTERS:
MARIE– a wife in her 20-40’s
DR.FLORA, the voice of a radio psychiatrist
PROPS: Laundry basket, telephone, white sweat socks
COSTUMES: Modern dress
SOUND: One cordless microphone, one offstage microphone
LIGHTING: General stage
SETTING: Living room of Marie’s home
SCRIPTURE REFERENCE: Ephesians 5:21, John 10:18
DIRECTOR'S TIP: Coordinate with your church sound technician as to how to amplify Dr. Flora’s voice. Use an offstage microphone or a recorded sound for the best effect.
MARIE enters with a basket of dirty laundry. She sees a pair of sweat socks on the floor. She begins to growl as she makes her way to them. She bends to pick them up. Then she looks at them and throws them back on the ground. She starts to walk away. She comes back and goes through the entire routine again.
Finally, she throws the socks on the ground, grabs the phone and dials.DR. FLORA: Hello, this is Dr. Flora, 1-800-D -R F- L- O -R- A, how can I help you?
MARIE: Dr. Flora. Thank goodness for you! I’m Marie from Canton. I have a moral dilemma.
DR. FLORA: Of course you do, dear.
MARIE: My husband has left his sweat socks on the living room floor again. What should I do?
DR. FLORA: Marie. This is serious. You knew this about him when you married him?
MARIE: (Sheepishly) Well...I...yes.... But, he was a bachelor then. All single men throw their socks on the floor...
DR. FLORA: Now, Marie...
MARIE: ...and their dirty towels...
DR. FLORA: Marie.
MARIE: ...and their dirty dishes...
DR. FLORA: MARIE! Snap out of it!MARIE: I’m sorry. (Sobbing) Oh, Dr. Flora, what should I do?
DR. FLORA: Now Marie, I know this is difficult, but in the past, have you picked up your husband’s socks for him?
MARIE: (Ashamed) Yes!
DR. FLORA: Oh, Marie.
MARIE: I know, I know. I’ve tried everything. I’ve picked them up and never said a word. Then I tried leaving notes on the socks. Then I refused to fix dinner until the dirty socks were put in the hamper.
DR. FLORA: And what did he do?
MARIE: He ordered out.
DR. FLORA: Marie. How could you let it get to this point?
MARIE: I don’t know. I thought if I picked them up, he’d get the hint.
DR. FLORA: Mmm, mmm, mmm.
MARIE: Then I thought clever little quips about the smell of sweat socks in the evenings would help him to see...
DR. FLORA: You’re only making it worse.
MARIE: Don’t I know that?! Now, I completely loose control when I see socks. I think I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
DR. FLORA: Have you thought about seeking professional advice?
MARIE: I’m calling you.
DR. FLORA: Ah. Right. Marie, I think it’s time for an intervention. Have you tried a twelve-step group?
MARIE: Oh, Doug would never do that. It took me five years to get him to go to church with me.DR. FLORA: And does he still go with you?
MARIE: Are you kidding? The first service he went to he loved! He is totally involved. He’s signed us up for everything. We’re on the coffee committee. We lead a small group. On Saturday mornings he coaches for the church soccer league.
DR. FLORA: So, the socks are really the only problem?
MARIE: (Emphatically) Yes!
DR. FLORA: (Total change of tone) It doesn’t sound like that big of a deal.
MARIE: What?!
DR. FLORA: Well, I mean, socks are just socks.
MARIE: You don’t think they represent a deeper moral issue?
DR. FLORA: Like what?
MARIE: Like how I’m the sweat sock slave. All I do all day long is pick up sweat socks!
Marie is on a tirade now, DR. FLORA’s lines are mere interjections
DR. FLORA: Well, I’m sure that you don’t do that all day long...
MARIE: Or how he couldn’t care less about whether or not I want to be on the coffee committee, he just signed us up!
DR. FLORA: I’m sure that socks don’t have anything to do with coffee...
MARIE: Or how four years ago he didn’t get me anything for Mother’s day!
DR. FLORA: Oh, how many children do you have?
MARIE: One
DR. FLORA: How old?
MARIE: She’s two.
DR. FLORA: So, dirty socks have nothing to do with whether or not your husband got you a card 4 years ago.
MARIE: Right! I guess they’re just dirty socks!!
DR. FLORA: Exactly.
MARIE: Thank you, thank you, Dr. Flora.
DR. FLORA: Of course, my dear. This is Dr. Flora saying, “Get Over Your Life!”
MARIE hangs up the phone and without thinking picks up the socks and walks off.
Performance and photocopying rights:
Your purchase of this script grants your church unlimited use of these sketches within your programs and worship services. You may photocopy the script for each cast member in your church. Scripts and performance rights are not transferable between churches and cannot be resold. You may not use the sketches for any commercial or fundraising purpose, and usage rights do not extend to video, radio, television or film.Copyright © 2002 by Alice Bass