JANE: Hurry dear, it's almost time for everyone to arrive.
TOM:
Don't rush me! I just got home from work and I want to relax.
This is my house and I want to watch some TV. I told you to cancel
tonight.
JANE:
I know you did, but I couldn't call everyone up at the last
moment and cancel. We are the leaders and we have to be here for
these people. Kids turn down that music!
TOM:
We have to be there for these people? They are a bunch of perfect
couples. No one ever seems to have any problems. Only us, and of
course we can't say anything about what goes on here 'cause we're
the leaders. Kids, your mother told you to turn down that music!
TEEN
1: Oh Dad, shut up! I can't hear it if it's turned down. I'm
expressing my inner self when I have the music loud!
TEEN
2: Your inner self? I hope it's better looking than your outer
self!
TEEN
1: Shut up! Have you looked in a mirror lately?
TEEN
2: Huh, huh, huh, very funny. You are such a dork!
JANE:
We don't say dork in this house. Now hurry it is almost time.
Entering
from another part of the stage. Couple #1.
GARY:
I can't believe that you said that to my mother!
CARYN:
She had it coming to her! She thinks she can dictate what we do
in our house. Well, she can't! If you'd have stuck up for me, I
would never have said anything.
GARY:
Quiet! They'll hear you. (They lift up their masks and hold it
in front of their faces.)
JANE:
Oh dear, someone is here. Tom, please turn off the TV and answer
the door.
TOM:
(Grumbling to himself) I really hate it when these
people invade our house. (Opens door and puts up his mask)
Hello! Gary, Caryn, come on in. It's great to see you.
GARY:
Great to see you too, Tom.
They
hug each other and start to pantomime talking.
Enter couple #2.
MICHELLE:
I'm exhausted! I had such a horrid day at the hospital. If I even
look at another sick person I'm going to scream!
MIKE:
You? Mine had to be worse. I was in court all day and we didn't
even win. I hate judges! I hate
TOM
opens the door. Mask up on everyone.
TOM:
Mike, Michelle, come on in. You look great. Bet you both had great
days at work today. You look all refreshed and ready to tackle the
world.
CARYN:
Oh Michelle I need to pick your brain. I think I am getting sick
and I need an expert's advice.
Enter
couple #3.
BOB:
Don't you tell anyone that I made this cake. I don't want the
guys to think that I'm a sissy cook!
TRISH:
Come on Bob, get over it! You cook better than me! Why lie?
Everyone
puts on his or her mask.
TOM:
Trish and Bob, come on in you two. Oh Trish, that cake looks delicious!
I wish I were married to you. You are the best cook around.
TRISH:
Thanks Tom, actually
(Mask starts to come down)
it
was nothing. (Mask goes back up)
BOB:
I'm glad that everyone could come. I always look forward to us getting
together.
Everyone
agrees. People are in small groups around the stage.
CARYN:
So Michelle, what do you think I'm getting? I hope it's not
one of those 48 hour bugs.
TRISH:
Jane, your house is always so clean and your kids are so sweet and
perfect. I don't know how you do it. I can't even get my kids to
clean their rooms. You have such a perfect family.
JANE:
You can't? Funny
I
(Mask starts to come down)
BOB:
Jane, dear
(Looks at her hard as JANE'S mask goes back up.)
GARY:
So Mike, win any cases lately?
MIKE:
Well actually
I am in the middle of a huge case and I think
that I may
(Mask starts to come down) I may
lo
(Mask
goes back up) win!
JANE: Michelle, actually I need to tell you that my kids
are not so sweet. (Her mask starts to slowly come down as she
talks) My house is not always so clean
in fact it is usually
so dirty until the afternoon of group. And (Mask is all the way
down) you might as well know, we are not the perfect family!
Tom and I fight, just like everyone else and our kids are not perfect!
Everyone
stops and looks at JANE.