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THE
VIPER 61088
by Frederick Schuszler
GENRE: Comedy
TIME: 8 minutes
CAST BREAKDOWN: 2F, 2M
THEME: Spiritual Warfare; Gratitude; Reconciliation; Witnessing; Evangelism; Thanksgiving
CHURCH YEAR SEASON: Thanksgiving
SUGGESTED USE: Worship ServiceCHARACTERS:
THE VIPER––talks in Bela Lugosi accent. Cheesy vampire costume.
YOUNG PERSON #1––Down-to-earth, sensible young woman.
YOUNG PERSON #2––A little bit flighty young woman. Speaks in Valley-girl phrases.
YOUNG PERSON #3––Slacker-dude posture and tone of voice, using words like "dude" in a monotone.SYNOPSIS: In this humorous look at standing up to the power of evil and speaking God's truth, three young people confront a vampire who claims he has the power to control them. They produce traditional talismans to ward off vampires, using these as symbols of the "tools" that God has given them to resist temptation and to empower them. (A "thankful heart" is one of those gifts.) The conclusion emphasizes gratitude for these gifts and the joy of being accepted for who we are.
PROPS: Backpacks for each character, a mirror, a strand of garlic or large garlic bulb, a cross, fake plastic heart
COSTUMES: Vampire costume, contemporary attire appropriate for each character
SOUND: CD of Brahms' "Hungarian Dance #5" or gypsy violin music
LIGHTING: General stage
SETTING: Open space
SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 6: 10–17; Romans 12:2; I Peter 3:15–16
DIRECTOR'S TIP: Much of the fun of this script comes from the juxtaposition of archetypes that don't normally go together. Take time to look at some photos, films or artwork that capture these stereotypes well. Enjoy recreating their gestures, body shapes and voices. Also, let the power of the vampire remain a threat until his true identity is revealed. Pick a moment when he reasserts his threat and must be put down again. If he's defeated immediately, there is no reason to keep going!
VIPER approaches young people. VIPER is dressed in stereotypical vampire attire. Young people see him approaching and whisper to themselves.
VIPER: Hello!
YOUNG PERSON #1: Sir, I don't mean any disrespect, but aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?
YOUNG PERSON #2: And like Halloween is soooo yesterday…like wasn't it three weeks ago?
YOUNG PERSON #3: But, man, your disco-era pilgrim costume is…uh…interesting.
VIPER: Allow me to introduce myself. I am a thousand-year-old Hungarian vampire–— I am called The Viper!
YOUNG PERSON #1: Ooookaaay.
YOUNG PERSON #2: You'll excuse us, we're due back on planet earth any minute now.
VIPER: You don't believe? (Incredulously) I will show you the power of The Viper! I will snap my fingers and you will hear wild Hungarian music and you will be mesmerized. Then you will be in my power!
The VIPER snaps fingers and music plays. (Brahms' "Hungarian Dance #5" is a good vigorous choice or any mournful violin music would be another way to go.) The young people seem to be in a trance then pause and quickly snap out of it.
YOUNG PERSON #2: Naaaaaaahhhh! We don't think so!
YOUNG PERSON #1: I mean, this doesn't make any sense. Like, I'm a young, strong, independent Christian woman. Why would I fall under the power of a thousand-year-old geezer?
VIPER: Silence! I will snap my fingers. You will hear wild Hungarian music. And you will be in my power!
Snaps fingers…music plays…young people aren't even fazed.
YOUNG PERSON #3: Mr. Viper-dude, your snappy-finger style magic trick of pulling music out of thin air is an awesome feat. Now let's see you try it with some twenty-first century tunes. On the other hand, I'm sorry, Mr. Viper-dude, but your mesmerizing leaves a lot to be desired.
YOUNG PERSON #1: You see, we're Christians and God has given us some pretty powerful tools to keep us from falling under anyone's power other than His. Here, we'll show you some symbols that keep us aware and appreciative of God's power in our lives. Let us illustrate this for you.
YOUNG PERSON #2: Oh, I just lo-o-o-v-v-ve high cosmic symbolic-ness! Almost as much as shopping and talking on my cell phone! Ou-Ou-Ou, let me go first! Let me go first! Check this out—a mirror!
VIPER: (Reacts with revulsion) I hate mirrors!
YOUNG PERSON #3: With your fashion sense, my man, I can understand that.
YOUNG PERSON #2: Ah, but mirrors are like such a cool concept! They allow us to see ourselves honestly. We know we're not perfect, but God has made us in His image and Christ came to show us God's face and to mirror His love for us. Get it? And then we're supposed to mirror his love to others.
YOUNG PERSON #3: Ex-cel-lent pontificating. But dig this—my symbol is…garlic!
VIPER: (Reacts with revulsion) I hate garlic!
YOUNG PERSON #2: But like, where is that in the Bible?! What kind of symbol is that? I mean, like, what is the concept…stink up for Jesus?
YOUNG PERSON #3: Jesus said we are to be the "salt of the earth."
YOUNG PERSON #1: Right. Not the "garlic of the earth."
YOUNG PERSON #3: Don't be so literalistic! What does salt do? It seasons. So one could—if one were not so obtuse!—paraphrase that as "you are the seasoning of the earth." Meaning that we are to be spicy, shake things up, make things interesting, show good taste, be tasty morsels of meaningfulness in a bland-diet world!
VIPER: Ah, tasty morsels…now you're talking my language!
YOUNG PERSON #3: Excuse me, but dude, when you dress like that, good taste is not in your vocabulary.
YOUNG PERSON #1: And my symbol is…the cross!
VIPER: (Reacts with revulsion) I hate crosses!
YOUNG PERSON #1: The cross is the symbol of sacrificial love. It is an ugly symbol of cruel death that points to something beautiful. "God so loved the world, that he gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life!"
YOUNG PERSON #3: And finally, a most appropriate symbol for this season of the year…a thankful heart! (Holds up a fake plastic heart. The others react along with the VIPER in revulsion.)
OTHERS: Ooooh, gross!
YOUNG PERSON #3: Yes, a thankful heart—aware of God's gifts bestowed upon us and grateful for each one of those gifts. This will go a long way in keeping you close to God and away from that which would drag you down or lead you astray. And don't be so sensitive—it's just a symbol—it's a fake plastic heart.
VIPER starts crying. YOUNG PERSON #1 pats him gently or puts an arm around him.
YOUNG PERSON #1: Aw-w-w-w, what's wrong Mr. Viper?
VIPER: I'm like that heart. (Continues crying)
YOUNG PERSON #1: You mean you have a thankful heart?
VIPER: No…I'm a…a…fake! I'm not really a thousand-year-old Hungarian vampire.
YOUNG PERSON #2: You're not?
VIPER: No. I'm not "The Viper." It was just a publicity stunt for my business… (Takes out a squeegee from underneath his cape.) "VLAD'S HUNGARIAN VINDOW VIPING AND VASHING". (Pause) I'm just a vindow viper!
YOUNG PERSON #3: (An aside to the congregation) He may not be a thousand years old, but that joke is!
YOUNG PERSON #1: Now, now, don't cry. Come with us, we'll take you to church with us.
YOUNG PERSON #3: Yeah, we'll go to bat for you. (Gives congregation a look)
YOUNG PERSON #2: Yes, our church has plenty of people just as strange…I mean…interesting…as you are!
YOUNG PERSON #1: We might even find you some work! I know! Our Minister of Education's [or other messy staff member with a sense of humor] office really needs a good cleanup!
YOUNG PERSON #3: And you'll feel right at home. I hear it hasn't been cleaned up in a thousand years!
VIPER: Thank you, my friends! I'm so grateful for you! My heart is bursting with joy for being accepted for who I am, by you and by the good Lord. I am thankful to God for some friends to celebrate Thanksgiving with, and finally, some business, so I won't have to wear this silly costume anymore to get attention! Come…I'll snap my fingers…we'll hear wild Hungarian music…and we'll be on our way!
Music starts.
YOUNG PERSON #3: I still don't know how he does that.
They "conga-line" off together. Lights out.
Performance and photocopying rights:
Your purchase of this script grants your church unlimited use of these sketches within your programs and worship services. You may photocopy the script for each cast member in your church. Scripts and performance rights are not transferable between churches and cannot be resold. You may not use the sketches for any commercial or fundraising purpose, and usage rights do not extend to video, radio, television or film.. Copyright © 2002by Frederick Schuszler