WATCHING THE ROAD 61089
by John Cosper


GENRE: Comedy
TIME: 5 minutes
CAST BREAKDOWN: 2M, 1F
THEME: Focusing on Christ
CHURCH YEAR SEASON: Any
SUGGESTED USE: Bible Study; Sermon Illustration

CHARACTERS:
ERNIE––A limo driver
SUSAN––A passenger
RICHARD––Another passenger

SYNOPSIS: A reckless limo driver gives a unique lesson on focusing on God in his own unique way.

PROPS: Chairs, luggage
COSTUMES: A limo driver uniform, street clothes
SOUND: 2 wireless microphones; sound effects of car horns, crashes, squealing tires
LIGHTING: General stage
SETTING: A limousine
SCRIPTURE REFERENCE: Hebrews 12:12; Mathew 14:22–33

DIRECTOR'S TIP: Give the passengers a task to do, such as reading a newspaper, fixing make-up or checking items off on a Palm Pilot. This will make their growing attention to the road more apparent, and provide an obstacle for Ernie to overcome in his increasingly wild drive.

Two chairs are set up on stage, one at center, one a few feet upstage and right from the first chair so that both can be seen by the audience. These represent the front and back seat of the limousine. ERNIE leads SUSAN, carrying luggage, to the car and opens the back door for her.

ERNIE: Your limo, ma'am.

SUSAN: (Sits) Thank you. (ERNIE slams the limo door. SUSAN jolts at the slam. ERNIE does a funny jog around to his door and gets inside. He starts the car, signals his pull out with his arm, using a bicycle signal and then begins driving.)

ERNIE: So, the airport, huh?

SUSAN: Yes.

ERNIE: Where you flying?

SUSAN: Going to see my dad in Nashville.

ERNIE: Oooooh, Texas. I love Texas. At least, I think I would. It sure looks good in the movies, you know? Except for the Indians, but that's why we have cowboys, right?

SUSAN: (Puzzled by ERNIE'S stupidity) If you say so.

Sound of squealing tires. ERNIE slams on the brakes. ERNIE and SUSAN both jolt forward.

ERNIE: You okay back there?

SUSAN: I think so, yes.

ERNIE: Man, some bad drivers out today. (Resumes driving) You know the number one cause of accidents?

SUSAN: No, what's that?

ERNIE: Gee… I was hoping you knew. I don't remember. (Smacks forehead) Wait, a minute, I remember now.

SUSAN: What is it?

ERNIE: (Turns to SUSAN) Not paying attention to the road.

SUSAN: Look out! (ERNIE turns in time to swerve and avoid an accident)

ERNIE: Whew! See what I mean? I could have killed us!

SUSAN: I believe you.

ERNIE: Yep, the most dangerous thing in the world is a distracted driver. Even the littlest thing can cause a twelve-car pile up. Talking on a cell phone. Fiddling with the radio. Playing snuggle bunnies with your riding companions. Or even (Head turning to watch a jogger) being distracted by a beautiful woman out jogging.

SUSAN: Watch out for that truck! (ERNIE swerves again)

ERNIE: Whew! Good thing you had your eyes on the road, huh?

SUSAN: Heh, I guess.

ERNIE: I almost killed us again. You know it's funny, but when I'm out driving, I start to think about God. Do you believe in God, ma'am?

SUSAN: God? Sure, I suppose.

ERNIE: Well, I sure do. And I find that following God is a lot like driving. See, there was this story where Jesus went out walking on a lake, and a guy named Peter started walking with Him. (Turns to SUSAN) But soon as Peter took his eyes off Jesus, he started to sink into the water. Just like…

SUSAN: Car! (ERNIE turns and swerves. A car horn blares.)

ERNIE: Whew!!! That was a close one. Anyway, where was I?

SUSAN: Peter started to sink.

ERNIE: Oh yeah, yeah. Peter started to sink when he took his eyes off Jesus. Which goes to show you that if you want to get through life safely, you have to stay focused on Jesus, just like focusing on the road when you drive.

SUSAN: I see, that's interesting.

ERNIE: Oh yeah. And there are so many little things. Looking at Jesus keeps us focused on our Christian mission, just as looking at the road keeps us focused on our mission. Like getting you to the airport. Looking at Jesus, we can see our future destiny, just like looking at the road shows us where we are going. Looking to Jesus can protect us from the pitfalls of life, just as looking at the road can protect us.

SUSAN: That's so true.i

ERNIE: Like up here for instance. If I wasn't paying attention to the road signs, I wouldn't be prepared for the–(ERNIE, then SUSAN bounce out of their seats and back down.)

ERNIE: Speed bump. Sorry about that. It is so funny, though. The slightest thing can wreck your car, or your life. Which is why you should always keep your eyes on Jesus.

SUSAN: And the road! The exit!

ERNIE: Whoops! (Swerves onto the ramp to the airport) Well, here we are, safe and sound. Where can I drop you?

SUSAN: Right here will be fine.

ERNIE: You're the boss. (ERNIE stops the limo. He runs around and opens the door for SUSAN. She steps out with her bags.)

ERNIE: Can I help you with the bags?

SUSAN: No, that won't be necessary. (Pays ERNIE) Here you go.

ERNIE: Thank you, ma'am. You have a good time in Texas!

SUSAN: And you keep your eyes on the road. And Jesus.

ERNIE: I always do.

(SUSAN exits. RICHARD walks up to ERNIE.)

RICHARD: I'm late for an important meeting. Can you get me downtown in twenty minutes?

ERNIE: (Opens the door) Step in, my man. We're going for a ride.

RICHARD gets in. ERNIE slams the door, then jogs to his door and gets in. He signals with a bike signal again, then pulls out.

ERNIE: So, why are you going downtown?

RICHARD: Important meeting with some private investors.

ERNIE: Ooooh, private eyes, huh? You must be a detective.

RICHARD: Whatever, kid.

ERNIE: Can I ask you something?

RICHARD: Sure.

ERNIE: (Turns to RICHARD) Do you believe in God? (Sound of squealing tires, car horns and collisions. ERNIE turns around and avoids the accident.)

RICHARD: Kid, I didn't believe in Him before, but I sure hope He's real now!

Lights out.

Performance and photocopying rights:
Your purchase of this script grants your church unlimited use of these sketches within your programs and worship services. You may photocopy the script for each cast member in your church. Scripts and performance rights are not transferable between churches and cannot be resold. You may not use the sketches for any commercial or fundraising purpose, and usage rights do not extend to video, radio, television or film.

Copyright © 2002 by John Cosper